What You Need to Know Before Having Your 2nd Baby

Photo from Pixabay.com

Let me be totally honest: I had no idea how difficult the transition from 1 to 2 kids would be for me! I know that it isn't this way for every parent, but for me going from 1 to 2 kids was much harder than going from 0 to 1. Several factors can play into the ease or difficulty of adding a second child to your family:

-Age of your oldest child when the second baby is born

-Age of your oldest when you become pregnant (I hadn't even considered this factor until I realized that it was hard being pregnant and tired while taking care of a very active 1 ½ year old!)

-Stage of life you're in (Are you and/or your spouse still finishing college? Are you settled into a career?)

-The transition you experienced going from 0 to 1 child (This is the experience you have to go off. My first pregnancy and my oldest baby were pretty easy, so I had high expectations going into my second time.)

-Personality of your oldest child  (Every child has their own adjustment process when they become a sibling. My oldest acted out more towards me than towards his baby brother.)

-Temperament and needs of your new baby (My second baby was a physically demanding little guy. His personality is typically more mellow than my high-energy oldest, which makes him so fun and snuggly, but he has had more sensitivity and physical discomforts we've had to figure out. He wasn't the type of baby I could just set down while getting things done; he preferred to be held. He also hated the car at first… All these things surprised me, because lots of people had told me that the second baby “will sleep through anything!” Ultimately, it comes down to each individual baby and their temperament and needs.)

I wish someone would have given me a list of realistic, practical (and yet still upbeat) advice before my second baby was born. I thought I totally knew what I was doing because I had already had a baby; but the reality for me was that my second time around was quite different from my first. Even though some of that had to do with the babies themselves being different human beings, a lot of the difference rested on the fact that there were 2 to take care of instead of just 1.

So, if you are pregnant with your second baby or are planning on having a second in the future, here are things you should be prepared for:

Advice for Second Time Parents

1. Expect to stay at home a lot: It will take time adjusting to feeding a newborn as well as taking care of your other child. Give yourself time and don't worry if you don't get out much for the first few months- that's to be expected!)
2. Choose your battles: You have to give yourself and your kiddo some leeway while everyone gets adjusted to all the changes. What saved me was screen time for my 2 year-old: I told myself that I would not feel guilty about letting him have lots of screen time those first few months after having my new baby! This saved me because I was often able to sleep while the baby slept during the day- because my toddler was occupied with his favorite movies and shows. If you're super against screen time, good luck finding ways to occupy your oldest… :) I know there must be ways, but you won't hear them from me because like I said- screen time saved me!
3. Take care of yourself: I know this is said a lot, but take this advice seriously. I didn't have any postpartum depression after I had my first baby; but I got it after my second baby was born. Know the signs and don't be afraid to get help if you need it. And even if you don't have PPD, take good care of yourself! Keep doing things that you love to do!
4. Let people help you: Don't hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. It was so refreshing for me when a friend would babysit my oldest for a little while so I could get one-on-one time with my baby. It reminded me how easy each of my boys are when it's just one of them! ;)
5. Do dates with your oldest child: Adding a second baby to the family brings big changes for your first little one. Taking one-on-one, uninterrupted time to remind your oldest that they are still your special child will rejuvenate you both.

I LOVE having two kids!!! I was unsure about how I would establish a special, intimate relationship with each of my children since my time would be divided between them. But I figured it out, and so will you. And even though your oldest child may act like they don't like the new baby at first (or they may love him or her from Day 1- who knows!), you will eventually see a fun and precious relationship form between them, and it will melt your heart!

Book Review: This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

As a parent, I look at the things that my toddler has broken and think to myself "This is why we can't
have nice things." And then I found out there was a book written about it! This book is a series of essays about parenting and marriage. You can start in any chapter without having to worry about having read the one before it. Which is good, considering the fact that one of the chapters is titled, "the day we caught our kids looking at their buttholes," and curiosity had me reading that chapter first. Then my eye caught, "just because I get up in the night, doesn't mean I deserve praise," and I had to read that chapter next.

This book is an straightforward take of a father's preconceived notions of parenting, marital roles, and raising children, and how these notions were often smashed to pieces and he was left to work through things in a new way. I love the honesty of this book, and how it brings up things I have thought about before as a parent (ex: "an open letter to my newborn" or "the baby hates me.") I love the humor in this book an appreciated the fresh perspective it offered. 

We bought the kindle version of the book, which is only a few dollars. It was well worth the price, and now I'm trying to get Papa M to read it, one essay at a time. Language warning: there will be swearing. If you've read the book, what was your favorite essay?

Happy Reading,

DIY Felt Pizza

If you haven't guessed already, I'm a big felt crafter. Here's yet another idea to use some of your felt scraps!

Start out with a piece of cardboard, cut out to the circumference of your preference. I liked using cardboard because a felt crust isn't sturdy enough if you are trying to move the pizza around. Cut out a circular red piece for the sauce, and add whatever toppings you'd like! I did shredded mozzarella cheese, olives, sausage, bay leaves, and green onions.

 Happy Crafting!

Top 5 Most Used Kitchen Supplies

Cooking with toddlers can be rough. Here are some items I use to make things go more quickly! This post was not sponsored, but most of the items are pampered chef brand because my mother in law is a consultant. You can check out her FB page here.

1. Wooden spoons- D loves helping me cook, and these wooden spoons help stay a safe distance away from pots and pans, without conducting heat. 
2. Micro cooker- this is great for heating up soup (a popular lunch at our house), steaming veggies, or warming pasta sauce. 
3. Small skillet- D loves to cook eggs (as described in this post) so our small skillet gets used several times a week. 
4. Mix n' chop- Who has time to shred meat? With the mix n' chop, you can shred meat in under a minute. I even let D try to help out. 
5. Small knifes- I feel like I'm constantly cutting fruit and cheese for my toddler. I go through several knifes a day!

What kitchen items do you use the most?

Transportation ABCs

This has been my project the past few days!! I wanted to create some new decorations for D's room, and I decided to do a transportation themed ABCs poster. I got some of these ideas from this Etsy posting, but I wanted to change some of the letters to things that D would like more.

I scanned these all into a PDF, so if you'd like to print them off and use them, feel free! Disclaimer: I'm not a professional artist, so the scanned quality will not be the best.