Tantrums and Broken Bread

D gets really upset when some food item he is holding breaks.

And because he tends to grip his food tightly, this happens several times a day. So to combat the meltdowns, I remind D about what we do every Sunday- we partake of broken bread. In our church, this helps us remember Christ's body and his sacrifice for us. D looks forward to taking the sacramental bread every week. He knows that it is special and important, although he doesn't yet understand why. So when I remind him that we eat broken bread every Sunday, it helps him put into perspective that he can still eat his broken food. This doesn't work every time, but I'm always amazed how often it does work. Sometimes I'll even catch D saying "broken bread!" after he accidentally crumbles something in his hand.

There's probably some deep metaphorical analogy I could make about how this applies to us as children of God. But I'll let you, the reader, discover it on your own.

Our Spending Freeze

Inspired by this video, my husband and I decided to do a spending freeze this past week. In case you don't want to watch the video, this means that we didn't spend money with the exception of gas (my husband commutes to work and has to fill up his tank twice a week).

When we first decided to do the freeze, I figured it would be pretty easy because we had enough milk and food to last for a week without grocery shopping. But I was wrong. It was really hard. 

One of the benefits of a spending freeze is that you stop all spontaneous spending. Which means I passed up a lunch date with friends, picking up doughnuts on the way home from a frisbee game, and buying cheap kids books from a door-to-door salesman. Because really, I didn't need any of that. I still had playdays with friends this week that weren't at restaurants, and we still ate food and read books- that we already owned. 

I became more aware of what we actually did need to buy this week, like another lock for our front door (man-cub D figured out how to unlock it and escape). I ran out of deodorant, so I've gotten a little creative. 

Most of all, it was nice not running to to the store 2-3 times this week. We've gotten so bad at keeping a proper grocery list that we will run to the store for just one or two things and it gets to be time-consuming. Also, going to the store with a toddler is not my favorite, so I'm glad I got a week off from that!

Also it was kind of nice putting off some bills that didn't need to be paid right away...because paying bills is stressful. But, we will be paying them right when the spending freeze is over, because debt is also stressful. 

The other point of a spending freeze is that the money you would have spent you put into savings. And since we're saving to buy a home and furnish it, it makes me feel good knowing that while I passed up on some opportunities this week, hopefully it will pay off later.

What's In My Diaper Bag?

Every time my toddler is quietly occupied, I know there are only two explanations: he's pooping and therefore wants privacy OR he's digging through the diaper bag.

"What treasures does the diaper bag hold for a toddler?" you ask. Here's what D looks for in our diaper bag (ranked from most to least important.)

1.  Chocolate (for mom and dad), bribery candy, and snacks. This is the main draw of the diaper bag. D knows that if he is unsupervised long enough, he can unwrap a chocolate, eat it, and throw away the evidence.

2. Money. Quarters, pennies, credit cards, all things that can
be handled by small hands and then thrown around the house.

3. Stickers and other out-and-about toys. These are toys reserved especially for travel, to make them more interesting. Hence the draw to play with them at home. 

4. Bobby pins and lipstick. Admittedly not the coolest things for a toddler to play with, but then again there's the anomaly factor. 

5. The boring stuff. Like diapers, diaper rash ointment, wipes, and a small towel. These are the first to be grabbed and instantly discarded.

So there you have it, our diaper bag essentials. I never think to hide the bag because I like to have it easily accessible when we run out the door. But I may have to start putting it up higher, because it's been ransacked almost every day in the past week. 

If you're looking for a summary of diaper bag essentials from a parent's point of view, check out my What's in My Diaper Bag? post on Baby Bear Outfitters. 

Book Review: Why Have Kids?

This is a controversial book. The basic premise is that many

mothers in the United States are dissatisfied with being parents. Almost every chapter in the book tackles an issue that divides mothers: breastfeeding vs. formula, stay-at-home vs. working moms, acceptable levels of childcare, husband/wife childcare responsibilities, vaccination vs. mother's intuition, traditional vs. gay parents. The author herself warns: "This book will likely make you angry." Indeed, the title alone can provoke strong feelings among parents and non-parents. I almost felt guilty checking out this book out. But in the end it was worth it.

Despite the parts that did make me angry (thanks for the warning, Jessica Valenti), there were many parts that made me relieved. The main takeaway I got from this book is that one reason mothers are dissatisfied is because of unrealistic expectations. They expect motherhood to be amazing and rewarding and fulfilling while being told that it will also be "hard." But "hard" is such a vague term, they don't really know what to specifically expect. They expect that their children will fulfill their emotional needs, when in reality children often cannot even understand what their parent's needs are, let alone have the capacity to fulfill them. Society expects mothers to "do it all"- when in reality it is healthy for both mothers and children to rely on others to help with childcare.

I try so hard to be a good mom. But with that comes constant worrying. Is he getting enough to eat? Is he drinking enough? (Toddlers are stubborn, so I end up negotiating at each meal- and he has five small meals day!) Is he getting enough sleep? Have I read enough to him today? Why is he crying? Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough? Do I not understand his needs? Especially since I am currently staying at home with my son full time, the mental expectations I set for myself become exhausting.

Why are mothers reporting increased dissatisfaction if the role of a mother is supposedly the "most rewarding job"? One of the issues the author tackles is the use of the word "job" for motherhood. If motherhood is a job, it follows that you should have time "off the clock." You should get vacation time. You have someone to answer to (which is who? your spouse? society? your unrealistic inner expectations?) The truth is, motherhood is not like a job in that way. You don't get time off, you don't get a lunch break, you don't get vacation time nearly as much as any other job. So why bother comparing it to a job? I would get so frustrated comparing my "job" at a stay-at-home mom to my husband's job as a professor. He only had to work 8-5. He got weekends off. He even got a lunch break every day! And I think this is the problem with my mentality. Motherhood is more than a job--it's a relationship.  And the more I view it as a job, the less I want to do it.

I don't really have an easy fix for this. I don't have an answer that will be good for everyone. But I do appreciate that Jessica Valenti starting a discussion so that hopefully we can get to the root of the problem and parents can start enjoying being parents again.

Story Time Favorites

Here are some of Man cub D's favorite books/ series as of late, most of which we've discovered by going to Story Time at our Library.

This is D's current obsession series. These books are quite long (40-50 pages) but they have simple illustrations and a few words on each page, so we actually make it through the whole book! I like how these books help illustrate how a child would feel in certain situations and plays it out through best friends Gerald the Elephant and Piggie.

D has the most random Dr. Seuss obsessions. He loves this book, along with "Ten Apples Up on Top," "The Shape of Me and Other Stuff," "Green Eggs and Ham," "The Tooth Book," and "The Eye Book."

These books have a fun beat to them and usually involve chanting/singing, which is always a favorite for D. They also teach about positive thinking.

I have mixed feelings about this book series. While they always aim to teach good principles (like using toilet paper correctly), usually something in each book will backfire for D and he'll get the wrong message. But he loves the illustrations and short phrases, so we've read almost every book by this author. 

This is another book series with good rhythm and sound effects.

A New Mexican version of 12 days of Christmas, which D had us sing daily for two weeks. But I didn't mind because the illustrations are gorgeous and detailed. I think I found something new every time we read the book.

What are some of your book recommendations for toddlers? 

Book Review: Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue

It may be a little strange that a blogger who's website focuses on one gender would be interested in a
book about parenting beyond gender stereotypes. One of the reasons I created this blog was because I worry about gender inequality for boys and well as girls. I love the website "A Mighty Girl" and wanted to create a little something for boys as well. (Incidentally, A Mighty Girl is where I learned about this book.) I realize that many will say that boys don't need any extra websites to help them with equality. But a quote in this book, Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue, perfectly summed up my reasoning.

"Boy World is a strict place: This research reflects a harsh reality for boys. Girls are more flexible than boys about what kinds of toys they can play with and how they can act. Girl-world is a much more open, accepting place than Boy-World. For example, girls play with boy toys much more often than boys play with girl toys...But boys can be brutally teased for doing anything girl-like. Girls are allowed to branch out, whereas peers in Boy-World strictly enforce gender rules." (p.127)

I loved that this book focused on the stereotypes for both boys and girls. I realize that girls have more inequalities that they must face, but I want to point out that so do boys. For example, I've been saving a childhood doll of mine for when we (hopefully) have a girl. After reading this book, I pulled out my doll Suzy for Man-cub D to play with. I realized there were many lessons that he could learn by taking care of a doll. Lessons that I wanted him to learn, like how to be gentle with babies, how to be aware of their needs, having empathy. Although he doesn't play with her as much now that the newness has worn off, it's fun to see him occasionally pull her out so she can sit at dinner with us or a read a book with him.

While I expected the author, Christia Spears Brown, to be extreme in her beliefs, she was actually quite balanced. She knows that she cannot singlehandedly change our culture of gender obsession. So she chooses her battles. Her daughters have girl names. They know their genders. The author doesn't ban pink from the house. What she does do is ban barbies. She also will confiscate any clothes gifted to her girls that have negative gender stereotype messages printed on them. She does her best to use gender neutral language with her daughters, basing her praise on their actions rather than mentioning their gender (ex: "What a big kid you are!" instead of, "What a big girl you are!")

This book argues that essentially before puberty, boys and girls are extremely similar and don't need to be treated differently because of their gender. To give you a taste of the practical advice you'll get in the book, chapter titles include "accidentally shaping who children become," "parenting a stereotype," "how children help create the differences we see," and "noticing gender."

This was a really interesting read for me, and I'd definitely recommend it! It motivated me to be more contentious of gender stereotypes I may be projecting onto my son. That said, I won't be changing the name of this blog (Man Cub Mamas) or my Etsy shop (Cute Girl Earrings).

DIY Holiday Crafts

A lot of these projects were inspired by pinterest pictures and posts, which I've linked to the name of each craft below.

Sock Snowman and Sock Santa- Santa was inspired by a snowman with a red hat - I used a red sock for Santa's body/ hat and a white one for his head/beard. The mustache for Santa and the nose for the Snowman were made out of felt. These tutorials recommend using beans or rice to fill your sock creations. I would suggest putting either beans or rice in the bottom, and then filling the rest with a cloth stuffing. Man-cub D through these around like crazy, and having these be all of rice made them more dangerous projectiles. So I ended up gutting them and adding the cloth filling.

Reindeer and Snowman Felt ornaments- I used cotton balls as extra stuffing for these cute ornaments! For the details of the snowmen, I used a black and an orange sharpie. Man-cub D learned the songs Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Once There Was a Snowman because of these ornaments.

Felt Nativity- I've been eyeing the little people nativity for months, but concluded it was just too expensive for this year. So I made my own finger puppet nativity! The outline for everyone except Baby Jesus was used from my Quiet Book posts. I chose not to be as detailed with their dress since I hot glued everything. I've learned that the more things you glue, the stiffer the puppets become, and the harder it is to fit your finger in. For Baby Jesus, I chose to cut out a brown arch and then a star shaped piece of yellow felt for the hay. I only glued down the outer sides of the hay so I could slide my finger between the brown and yellow pieces. 

DIY Mickey Mouse Stocking- My mom sent me this idea (thanks mom!) and I just had to try it. You'll see I altered it a bit since I used two pom poms that came with the stocking. I also didn't have enough black felt to do an entire head, so I just did the ears. 

Overall, these crafts have been quick and cheap to do! Man-cub D has gotten a kick out of all his new "gifts" this month, and has enjoyed playing with them all (minus the stocking).