Book Review: Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue

It may be a little strange that a blogger who's website focuses on one gender would be interested in a
book about parenting beyond gender stereotypes. One of the reasons I created this blog was because I worry about gender inequality for boys and well as girls. I love the website "A Mighty Girl" and wanted to create a little something for boys as well. (Incidentally, A Mighty Girl is where I learned about this book.) I realize that many will say that boys don't need any extra websites to help them with equality. But a quote in this book, Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue, perfectly summed up my reasoning.

"Boy World is a strict place: This research reflects a harsh reality for boys. Girls are more flexible than boys about what kinds of toys they can play with and how they can act. Girl-world is a much more open, accepting place than Boy-World. For example, girls play with boy toys much more often than boys play with girl toys...But boys can be brutally teased for doing anything girl-like. Girls are allowed to branch out, whereas peers in Boy-World strictly enforce gender rules." (p.127)

I loved that this book focused on the stereotypes for both boys and girls. I realize that girls have more inequalities that they must face, but I want to point out that so do boys. For example, I've been saving a childhood doll of mine for when we (hopefully) have a girl. After reading this book, I pulled out my doll Suzy for Man-cub D to play with. I realized there were many lessons that he could learn by taking care of a doll. Lessons that I wanted him to learn, like how to be gentle with babies, how to be aware of their needs, having empathy. Although he doesn't play with her as much now that the newness has worn off, it's fun to see him occasionally pull her out so she can sit at dinner with us or a read a book with him.

While I expected the author, Christia Spears Brown, to be extreme in her beliefs, she was actually quite balanced. She knows that she cannot singlehandedly change our culture of gender obsession. So she chooses her battles. Her daughters have girl names. They know their genders. The author doesn't ban pink from the house. What she does do is ban barbies. She also will confiscate any clothes gifted to her girls that have negative gender stereotype messages printed on them. She does her best to use gender neutral language with her daughters, basing her praise on their actions rather than mentioning their gender (ex: "What a big kid you are!" instead of, "What a big girl you are!")

This book argues that essentially before puberty, boys and girls are extremely similar and don't need to be treated differently because of their gender. To give you a taste of the practical advice you'll get in the book, chapter titles include "accidentally shaping who children become," "parenting a stereotype," "how children help create the differences we see," and "noticing gender."

This was a really interesting read for me, and I'd definitely recommend it! It motivated me to be more contentious of gender stereotypes I may be projecting onto my son. That said, I won't be changing the name of this blog (Man Cub Mamas) or my Etsy shop (Cute Girl Earrings).

DIY Holiday Crafts

A lot of these projects were inspired by pinterest pictures and posts, which I've linked to the name of each craft below.

Sock Snowman and Sock Santa- Santa was inspired by a snowman with a red hat - I used a red sock for Santa's body/ hat and a white one for his head/beard. The mustache for Santa and the nose for the Snowman were made out of felt. These tutorials recommend using beans or rice to fill your sock creations. I would suggest putting either beans or rice in the bottom, and then filling the rest with a cloth stuffing. Man-cub D through these around like crazy, and having these be all of rice made them more dangerous projectiles. So I ended up gutting them and adding the cloth filling.

Reindeer and Snowman Felt ornaments- I used cotton balls as extra stuffing for these cute ornaments! For the details of the snowmen, I used a black and an orange sharpie. Man-cub D learned the songs Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Once There Was a Snowman because of these ornaments.

Felt Nativity- I've been eyeing the little people nativity for months, but concluded it was just too expensive for this year. So I made my own finger puppet nativity! The outline for everyone except Baby Jesus was used from my Quiet Book posts. I chose not to be as detailed with their dress since I hot glued everything. I've learned that the more things you glue, the stiffer the puppets become, and the harder it is to fit your finger in. For Baby Jesus, I chose to cut out a brown arch and then a star shaped piece of yellow felt for the hay. I only glued down the outer sides of the hay so I could slide my finger between the brown and yellow pieces. 

DIY Mickey Mouse Stocking- My mom sent me this idea (thanks mom!) and I just had to try it. You'll see I altered it a bit since I used two pom poms that came with the stocking. I also didn't have enough black felt to do an entire head, so I just did the ears. 

Overall, these crafts have been quick and cheap to do! Man-cub D has gotten a kick out of all his new "gifts" this month, and has enjoyed playing with them all (minus the stocking). 

Wrapping Gifts with a Toddler

I wasn't even wrapping the actual gifts - I was wrapping
boxes for gifts to go inside. There was a roll of wrapping paper, scissors, and tape on the ground. Man-cub D had been barricaded out of the room, but he finally managed to get in.

"Okay, D, you can stay here, but don't touch anything."
"Don't. Touch."
"Exactly."
"Don't. Touch." *grabs the scissors and runs away giggling*

After retrieving the scissors, I sit on them until I need them. D digs underneath my butt, trying to reach them. I succeed in taping the wrapping paper onto a side of the box. Then D notices the tape.

"Cake?" he asks, referring to the tape.
"The tape is just for mommy."
"Mommy." *snatches tape from my hand and runs away*

After retrieving the tape, I put it on top of the bed until I need it. Unfortunately by this point D found the now unprotected scissors and has run off again. I retrieve the scissors and begin cutting wrapping paper for the next box.

"Sit?" D wants to sit in my lap.
"Sure," I sigh. At least then he'll stay put.

Just kidding. Now he wants a piggyback. And now he's walking all over the wrapping paper, getting dangerously close to grabbing the scissors again.

I lead him outside the room and shut the door. He weeps as if the only entertainment in the entire house is in the master bedroom--even though all of his toys are easily accessible in the front room, kitchen, or his bedroom.

I finish wrapping the box and look up to find that D has figured out how to open the door. Looks like I'll be buying child safety locks.

Last minute themed family costumes

Have the baby/ toddler be a lobster and everyone else wear "Red Lobster" bibs.

Have baby/toddler be a sack of money and everyone else wear all black as robbers.

Have a family member be a "crazy cat lady" and everyone else be cats

Winnie-the-pooh characters

What family themed costumes have you done?

Cooking with Man-cub D

Ever since I showed him how to cook eggs, Man-cub D has requested them every day for lunch. The following are 25 steps to a quick cooking session with a toddler.

Step 1: Pull out the eggs from the fridge.
Step 2: Pull a chair over to the counter so D can reach.
Step 3: Grab a small skillet and put on stove.
Step 4: Spray the skillet (unless D jumps right to step 5)
Step 5: D cracks the egg(s) into the skillet.
Step 6: Mama R digs out all the shell bits.
Step 7: Wash hands.
Step 8: Push eggs out of D's reach so he doesn't crack more.
Step 9: Hand D the pepper to season the eggs.
Step 10: D vigorously shakes pepper over eggs, possibly dropping it into the mix.
Step 11: Hand D the salt.
Step 12: Repeat step 10.
Step 13: Put salt and pepper out of D's reach.
Step 14: Open grated cheese for D.
Step 15: D sprinkles cheese on eggs, also spilling some on the chair.
Step 16: Clean the chair.
Step 17: Get wooden spoon for D to stir the eggs (thus scrambling them).
Step 18: Put skillet on stovetop.
Step 19: Turn on stovetop.
Step 20: Monitor D so he doesn't touch stove or skillet while eggs cook.
Step 21: Take wooden spoon from D momentarily to make sure the eggs get flipped so they are cooked all the way through.
Step 22: Apologize when returning the spoon.
Step 23: Declare eggs done.
Step 24: Get a plate while D gets a fork.
Step 25: Eat the eggs.

4 tips for buying a family car

1. Do your research- check out consumer reports, talk to friends and family about what their cars are like, compare and contrast different cars to see pros and cons.
2. Test drive with your carseats. Assuming your kids still are in carseats, bring them along and put them in the cars you are test driving. We quickly eliminated several models because we realized that the front passengers would have to give up too much legroom in order to accommodate a rear facing car seat. 
3. Imagine what you would actually have in your car. Are you going to be road-tripping in this car? How would suitcases fit in the back? Or that jogging stroller you have at home? 
4. Stick to your budget. Dealers are going to post prices higher than the fair market value (check Kelly Blue Book on all cars!!!) and they will try to get you to sign a contract by lowering your monthly payments and stretching everything out. Low monthly payments won't make up for the fact that you have an expensive car to pay off for years and years. 

Todder Narrations

One of the pros to having a talking toddler is that they inadvertently will narrate or comment on something that cues you in on potential messes or misbehavior. For example, when I was a child I would say "not nice" whenever I was doing something naughty.

Similarly, Man-cub D will say things like "BUG!" if he sees one in the house (which is useful for me because he's closer to the ground and will notice them more). He also will say "booger" if he happens to pick his nose and strike gold, thus alerting me to grab a tissue. He says "uh-oh" if he drops or throws something. All of these things are words he says not necessarily to alert me, but I get the added benefit anyway.

What does your toddler narrate?