1yr Old Man-Cub Rules for Eating

I'm slowly learning that my man-cub has a specific set of rules when it comes to eating. Here are a few of my man-cub's rules:

1. Feed me before feeding yourself.
2. What you're eating will always taste better than what I'm eating. Even if we're eating the same thing.
3. Everything must go into my mouth so I can assess whether it is food or not. For the record, tissues and paper are not food. But they are amazing imposters! They get me every time...
4. Eating things one at a time is for wimps. Shove four pieces in your mouth at a time and try not to choke.
5. All food must be room temperature or slightly warmer. Frozen food is not acceptable. 
6. If I don't like it, I'll spit it out.
7. If I'm full, I'll spit it out. Then I will play with it.
8. If you have food in your mouth and in each hand but none on the table, your parents are trying to starve you.
9. It's important to drop food on the floor so you can eat it later. It's like food storage.
10. Eating too much of the same thing is not only unhealthy, it's boring. Let your parents know this by only taking a few bites of each type of food they provide.
11. Screaming is the best way to communicate hunger.