If Man-Cub D had a LinkedIn Profile

MAN-CUB D

Baby of All Trades

Toddlerville, USA

Current: Child Safety Specialist

Previous: Personal Trainer

Education: Baby State University

mancub-d@babymail.com

  

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Arts in Natural Disasters from Baby State University  (2016-Present)               

Associates Degree in Hiding Important Items from Mama and Dada (2016)

Certificate of Cuteness from Grandma H and Grandma L  (2015)

LANGUAGES

Grunting

Sign language

EXPERIENCE

Freelance Child Safety Specialist, November 2015-Present

Visit homes and help parents identify what parts of their house have not yet been childproofed. Specialties include locating electrical outlets, wires, and appliances.

Personal Trainer for Mama R, March 2015-Present

Prepped Mama R for a post-apocalyptic world by conditioning her to wake several times a night. Trained Mama R to respond quickly and effectively to various cries. Helped boost Mama R’s milk supply through frequent feedings.

Contract Quality Control Supervisor, January 2015-Present

Sampled various sizes and types of diapers to assess their absorbency and fit. Identified numerous manufacturing flaws, specifically in the realm of blowouts.

SKILLS AND ENDORSEMENTS

Screaming                  33

Crawling                     20

Biting                         15

Walking                      11

Climbing                     8

Drooling                      7